If you’re healing from an affair or navigating the heartbreak of infidelity recovery, Eckhart Tolle’s teachings can be a powerful source of comfort and insight. His work reminds us that even in our darkest moments, there is still presence, peace, and purpose—and that sometimes, the worst of times lead to the most profound growth. Last Friday, I had the opportunity to attend a lecture by Eckhart and in this post, I share five lessons from that evening to support your healing journey and help you begin to rebuild from betrayal.

If it’s been two years—or five, or even twenty-five—since you found out about the affair, and you still find yourself triggered by random moments, memories, or even your partner’s tone of voice… please hear this: you’re not crazy, weak, or holding on too long. You’re likely dealing with a real trauma response—something many people now refer to as Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD). And there’s a reason your healing hasn’t just “clicked” with time alone. Let me explain.

If you’re trying to understand why someone had an affair—or if you had an affair yourself and want to explore what led you to that decision—these ten questions can provide important insights. The goal isn’t just to look at the surface-level circumstances but to dig deeper into the underlying emotional patterns, past experiences, and coping mechanisms that contributed to the affair.