It's difficult to say exactly how common it is for couples to stay together after an affair, as it can depend on a variety of factors such as the severity of the affair, the underlying issues in the relationship, and the willingness of both partners to work on the relationship.
Recent studies find that infidelity affects 1 in every 2.7 couples and most (65%-70%) DO stay together after.
Most couples who experience infidelity actually want to stay in their relationships. I have found that many people who stray do so because three things happen at once for them: (1) they are struggling with their mood or mental health, (2) their primary relationship is not in great shape, and (3) they experience a trauma or trigger that sets them off looking for a painkiller.
Couples who choose to stay together after an affair often report experiencing a sense of commitment, love, and forgiveness towards their partner, and are willing to work on rebuilding trust and addressing any underlying issues in the relationship. However, it's important to note that healing from infidelity can be a difficult and challenging process, and it may not be possible for all couples to rebuild their relationship. I find that is possible and painful to heal from 1 affair, 10x harder to heal from a second affair, and 100x harder to heal from a third (or more) affair. That said, it can be done and if you want to try, I absolutely think you should!
If you and your partner are trying to decide whether to stay together after an affair, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a therapist or counselor who specializes in helping couples heal from infidelity. We can provide support and guidance as you work through your feelings and decide what is best for your relationship.
Dr. K's NEW Book on Infidelity Recovery
The Courage to Stay - How To Heal From an Affair & Save Your Marriage
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