One of the most common questions I hear from couples in affair recovery is: How do we know if we’re okay now? Is there some sign, some moment, where we can finally exhale and say, We’ve made it? Healing after infidelity is not a straight line. There are good days and hard days. But over time, there are signs that show a couple has done the work to truly repair and rebuild—not just sweep the pain under the rug, but face it together, grow from it, and create something stronger. Here are some of the clearest signs that a couple is not just surviving, but thriving, after betrayal.
If you’re healing from an affair or navigating the heartbreak of infidelity recovery, Eckhart Tolle’s teachings can be a powerful source of comfort and insight. His work reminds us that even in our darkest moments, there is still presence, peace, and purpose—and that sometimes, the worst of times lead to the most profound growth. Last Friday, I had the opportunity to attend a lecture by Eckhart and in this post, I share five lessons from that evening to support your healing journey and help you begin to rebuild from betrayal.
If it’s been two years—or five, or even twenty-five—since you found out about the affair, and you still find yourself triggered by random moments, memories, or even your partner’s tone of voice… please hear this: you’re not crazy, weak, or holding on too long. You’re likely dealing with a real trauma response—something many people now refer to as Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD). And there’s a reason your healing hasn’t just “clicked” with time alone. Let me explain.

Dr. Kathy Nickerson
Dr. Kathy is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, and nationally recognized relationship expert who has helped thousands of couples. Over the past 20 years, Kathy has presented marriage and relationship advice at more than 70 conferences, while authoring more than 85 professional articles and books, with coverage in Good Housekeeping, Reader's Digest, CNBC, Bustle, Medium, UpJourney, Fatherly, The Zoe Report, CNN, Forbes, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, LA Times, Newsweek and many more.