If you’re trying to understand why someone had an affair—or if you had an affair yourself and want to explore what led you to that decision—these ten questions can provide important insights. The goal isn’t just to look at the surface-level circumstances but to dig deeper into the underlying emotional patterns, past experiences, and coping mechanisms that contributed to the affair.

When someone who has cheated reaches out to me and asks the heartbreaking question, "Am I a horrible, worthless person?" because of this, my answer is always a resounding no. You are absolutely, positively not a worthless or irredeemable person. Bad behavior doesn’t define who you are as a human being—your worst behavior reflects your struggles, your pain, and your humanity. 

Have you discovered that your partner is caught up in an emotional affair, and you’re left wondering why they seem so drawn to it—why they can’t seem to let go? Emotional affairs can feel addictive to the person involved, and while that doesn’t excuse their actions, understanding why it happens might help you make sense of what’s going on. Let’s explore why your partner might be so hooked on this connection and why it’s so hard for them to break away.