Is cheating abuse? Some forms of infidelity absolutely can be abusive, but does that mean every affair should automatically be classified as abuse? After Chump Lady challenged my position, I took a deeper look at the newest peer-reviewed research, including a 2026 paper specifically examining the intersection of serial infidelity and psychological abuse. Here’s what the research says, where Chump Lady and I actually agree, and why I believe precision and nuance matter when we talk about betrayal, trauma, and abuse.

What happens when someone spends years fighting for a relationship... and eventually runs out of hope? In this article, we explore the psychology of the burnt out pursuer: the partner who longed for connection for so long that emotional exhaustion began to replace hope. Learn why anxious partners sometimes appear avoidant, why some affairs become "exit affairs," and what it really takes to heal the attachment injuries underneath.

For years, my standard recommendation for betrayed partners has been to pursue trauma therapy to help cope with the PTSD symptoms that so many people struggle with following affair discovery. Over time, I’ve realized something important: Different types of trauma therapy are more or less effective at different points in your healing journey. Early on, your nervous system is in survival mode. Later, you may be trying to process traumatic memories...