Counseling

Let's Make It Better Now

There are a couple of ways for us to work together...

Online Therapy - by Text or Facebook

Working up the courage to get counseling for private problems can be hard. With online counseling, you get the help you need fast and with complete privacy. It's all up to you how much you want to share. 

The convenience and privacy of online therapy is ideal for you if you have a very complex schedule or don't live nearby.  This option also works well if you are just starting with therapy and want a safe way to explore even the most difficult situations. 

In an online session, we will discuss your situation privately by text or Facebook messenger. You can do your session on your own or as a couple.  

It's simple to get started... just click Make An Appointment above. 


Phone Session

Like online therapy, phone therapy is extremely convenient and flexible. In a phone session, we will chat about your situation and brainstorm solutions together on a phone call. 

We can do phone sessions with the 2 of you as a conference call. Just let me know when you schedule your session and please make sure I have both of your phone numbers.  

It's simple to get started... just click Make An Appointment above. 


Office Visit

I would love to meet you and chat with you in person. If you live near Orange County, please come sit down with me at my beautiful home office and we'll discuss your relationship personally. 

My office, located 5 minutes from the Irvine Spectrum, is a very cozy and private cottage nestled in a historic eucalyptus forest. It's magical, you'll love it.

You are welcome to visit on your own or as a couple. We can even do family sessions, if you'd like. 

It's simple to get started... just click Make An Appointment above.

The Help You Need Is Right Here...

Whether you're struggling with frequent fighting, feeling disconnected from your partner, trying to heal from infidelity, or another relationship issue, I can and really want to help you.

First, let me tell you ...

If you've been trying to make it better on your own, and it's not getting better, it's not your fault.

Knowing just what to do to make a relationship better is tricky. It's especially hard for you because you're emotionally involved in the situation, which makes it almost impossible to see the situation clearly.

As a nationally recognized expert who specializes exclusively in marriage counseling and couples therapy, I can provide exactly what you need to strengthen your unique relationship.

There's no shame in needing a little help...

When you don't know how to cook something, you go look up a recipe and follow it, right? You don't beat yourself up because you weren't born knowing how to make Bechamel sauce (I hope!).

The same is true for our relationships. Most of us aren't born with perfect relationship skills and few of us were raised in homes were ideal relationships were on display.

It's not about being perfect, it's about knowing that you are normal... and in fact, you're wise! It's smart to reach out for help when you need it.

It's especially wise to reach out to someone who truly is a specialist. Relationship counseling is all I do and I love it. I deeply believe in love and the potential for all relationships to thrive. I am a champion for love and will be your champion as you conquer whatever you and your partner are facing.

Together, we can create your very best relationship. I look forward to talking with you further.

Warmly,

Dr. K

 

Frequently Asked Questions

 

What are your prices and do you take insurance?

Please click here for our prices, packages, and insurance information.

 

What can we expect from couples counseling?

You can expect to feel comfortable and safe within a supportive, non-judgmental environment. You will not be blamed, criticized, or "beaten up." Rather, you will be heard and respected for your thoughts and perspective. You can both expect to get feedback from me on how to improve your relationship. I typically give guidance to each of you on what you can do differently to make the relationship stronger and more positive. I will specifically coach you on:

  • how to talk to each other
  • how to fight fairly
  • how to resolve conflicts
  • how to build and increase trust
  • how to increase closeness and connection
  • how to bring love and passion back to the marriage
  • how to increase positivity
  • how to improve the quality time you spend together
  • how to prevent your relationship from getting in a bad spot
  • how to handle problem areas - like affairs, addictions, parenting issues, trust issues, and other

 

What specific kind of relationship therapy do you do?

Through the years, I've found that a blend of therapeutic approaches will get you the best and fastest results. My goal is always to help you strengthen your relationship and get back to a good place as fast as possible. To do this, I use a custom blend of the following techniques: Gottman Marriage Counseling Therapy, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, Narrative Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Positive Psychology and Humanistic Therapy.


What happens in the first marriage counseling session?

While every couple is unique, I start with the following agenda for the first meeting with a new couple: 

(1) Quick History: I'd like to get a little history on your life together. How long have you been together? How did you meet and fall in love? What's happened since you got married? How would you describe your life together in the last couple of years?

(2) Overview of Current Problems: What's going on now? What made you decide to come in for therapy now? What is your perspective on your relationship problems? What have you tried to make things better?

(3) Therapy Wishlist:  What are you wishing for? What are you craving or longing for in this relationship?

(4) Sample Conversation Exercise: this is an exercise where I ask the two of you to talk to each other as you would at home (i.e.,pretend I am not in the room), so I can get a sense of how you communicate.

(5) Feedback and Action Plan: We will wrap up our first meeting by talking about my thoughts and observations on how to help the two of you move forward. Then we'll quickly review and come up with an action plan for the following week.

 

How many sessions will I need?

That is really up to you and it depends on your goals. Some couples want to come in 1-2 times for an evaluation and to get some advice on what to do to make things better. Others prefer to have a little more help and choose to come in weekly for 6-8 weeks. Some have experienced a serious issue or severe trauma and choose to invest in intensive counseling for a few months.

My goal is always to get you better as fast as possible. I encourage you to do as much work on your relationship on your own as you can; I am best used for consultation when you reach a point where you don't know what to do next or have hit a wall.

 

If I need relationship counseling, does it mean I'm weak or something's wrong with me? Shouldn't I be able to figure out my problems on my own?

No, not at all. The people I take care of are smart, creative, resourceful, caring people who just want to learn how to do things differently. They are CEOs, community leaders, teachers, doctors, moms, business owners, contractors, and dads. They are people like you! There is nothing wrong with them, they just want a little expert guidance.

It turns out that it is really hard to figure out how to fix your marriage when you are in the marriage. Because you are emotionally involved in the relationship, you can't see things objectively. This doesn't mean that anything is wrong with you, it just means that you are too close to the situation to see it clearly.

 

How do I know if I need couples counseling?

You will benefit from counseling if you're going through a relationship transition, like having a second baby, or if you've hit a bump in the road and you don't know what to do to make it better. Or you've tried some things to make it better and it isn't getting better.

Most of the couples I take care of are dealing with one or more of these common relationship problems:

  • Frequent fighting
  • Feeling unheard or misunderstood
  • Having the same fight again and again 
  • Recovering from an affair
  • Rebuilding trust after an affair
  • Understanding why an affair happened
  • Restoring intimacy and closeness after an affair
  • Increasing friendship and connection in their marriage
  • Bringing more happiness and closeness to their marriage

 

Is it ok for me to come alone to the first session?

Sure, it is fine for you to come alone to the first session. Some people would like to have an individual session before their first couples session. This absolutely fine. My only request is that you run this plan by your partner, so he/she feels included in your decision from the beginning.

 

What if my partner doesn't want to come to counseling?

This is actually very common. While I'd love to see you and your partner together, if only one of you is open to counseling right now, that is fine. I am happy to work with you individually to discuss what you can do to make your relationship stronger. There's a lot you can do to make it better on your own and often, when things start getting better, your partner will probably open up to the idea of coming in for some help too.