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No relationship is perfect. (Remember how even the Obamas went to marriage counseling?) Even if you’re crazy about your partner, maybe their workaholic tendencies are putting a strain on the time you spend together. Maybe you disagree about how to manage and spend money. Maybe your different approaches to conflict resolution cause small issues to blow up into big arguments....
The beginning of the year is a rough time for the institution of marriage. Ashley Madison, a dating site for people looking to start extramarital affairs, reports in a press release that January and February are the site's biggest months for new signups. And in news that may or may not be related, divorce lawyers add that they see a surge in divorce filings after the holidays ...
With 2020 quickly approaching, it's time to reflect and think about what you want for yourself and your relationship in the year ahead. Do you want to get engaged? Do you want to communicate better? Do you want to fall in love with your partner all over again? Whether you've been with your partner for the past five months or five years, the beginning of the new year brings you an opportunity to give your relationship a fresh start...
While the holidays are a time express gratitude to friends, family and colleagues, it’s also a time of reflection — which can be particularly challenging for those who are grieving. Dealing with the recent loss of a loved one or the anniversary of a death is never easy, even for someone like me: a psychologist whose job is to help others handle this sort of stuff. Fortunately, these coping strategies have helped pull me out of the holiday blues, and I hope they can do the same for you...
Brimming with culinary talent and wisdom, Chef Jamie Gwen whips up delicious recipes and culinary delights for television and radio audiences around the globe. With 14 Years of radio success, Jamie’s weekly live radio show, “Food & Wine with Chef Jamie Gwen”, can be heard on Talk Radio 790 KABC in SoCal and on 50 Radio Stations across the U.S. along with worldwide on iTunes. Dr. Kathy joins her this week to dish about how to deal with family dramas. Dr. Kathy's segment starts at 20.0.
Every year it seems like holiday decorations go up earlier and earlier. Lawn ornaments and string lights are showing up in every neighborhood the day after Halloween, and every store has multicolored trees, plastic menorahs and nativities, and more wrapping paper and bows than you can count already. In the constant consumer world we live in, it’s easy to brush off the impending holiday madness...
For some, dating is simply a means to meet someone new and possibly make a connection that leads to friendship or a potential relationship. Others, however, can take a more intentional approach and use dates as vehicles to drive you to your soulmate. If you're in the latter category, you are well aware that said journey is not without its fallbacks and endless questions, the main one being: how do you know you've found the "one"?
Since it can often be quite subtle, you might not notice right away if your partner is possessive. In fact, you might even view their actions as caring or sweet, or think that they just have your best interests at heart. But since these everyday moments can turn toxic over time, it's helpful to see them for what they really are...
We feel guilt for many reasons. While it’s normal to feel guilt, ruminating too much over it isn’t and can turn into an emotional burden. When not dealt with properly, guilt can even take a toll on our well-being. With that, we asked eleven experts, “How to deal with guilt?” Let’s see what they have to say...
We’ve all been there: In mid-conversation with a friend or coworker, when suddenly we realize that their gaze (and thumb) has shifted down to their phone. Whether they’re doing a compulsive check of their Instagram feed or responding to emails practically before they hit their inbox, the sudden lack of attention can definitely be unsettling...
It's normal to talk to your friends about your relationship. Everyone could use some advice from time to time. But according to experts, there are some things that should only stay between you and your partner. If you're someone who likes to vent, knowing which topics to avoid can help to keep your relationship strong...
Relationship researcher John Gottman, Ph.D, was the first to apply the term “stonewalling” to couples, said Kathy Nickerson, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist who specializes in relationships in Orange County, Calif. Gottman defines stonewalling as “when a listener withdraws from an interaction” by getting quiet or shutting down, she said...
We tend to hold the misconception that healthy, happy relationships happen naturally. Organically. Even effortlessly. They move along an assembly line without requiring much, if any, intervention on our part. Because we worry that if we have to work at a marriage, then maybe it simply isn’t meant to be...
We often praise people who give ultimatums, who say things like “By such and such date, if I don’t have a ring, this relationship is over.” Or “I want ______, and if you’re not willing to give that to me, then I’m done.” After all, they’re just standing up for their beliefs and needs...
Assumptions sabotage relationships. As therapist Ashley Thorn, LMFT, noted in our previous piece on the topic, “you’re basically deciding a thought you’re having is ‘fact’ when you don’t have all the information.” This can lead to poor decision-making. Assumptions also ensure that our partners don’t get to share their story. As a result, they might feel undervalued and unheard...
Difficult emotions are inevitable. Yet so many of us aren’t used to feeling them. We do other things — like distract ourselves with Facebook, snap at our spouse, paint a smile on our faces — and these other things don’t make the pain go away. Which is why it’s vital to have a collection of healthy coping strategies we can turn to...
Setting intentions as a couple is a boon to your relationship. “Having shared projects, shared goals and shared meaning increases [closeness],” said Kathy Nickerson, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist who specializes in relationships in Orange County, Calif. It’s also “an opportunity to examine what’s gone right and what’s gone wrong in the previous year,” ...
Everyone makes assumptions in romantic relationships. And these assumptions can get us into trouble. That’s because we create explanations for another person’s behavior without knowing if that interpretation is actually correct. And often it isn’t. We also hold certain expectations that we assume are facts. But, again, they’re not either...
Valentine’s Day — like any holiday where we give gifts — can create immense pressure to buy the right thing or devise an elaborate experience. Many people worry about disappointing their loved one. They assume that pricey or extravagant presents are the way to go. However, as clinical psychologist Kathy Nickerson, Ph.D, said, “the best gifts are something thoughtful and personal.”
Dr. Kathy Nickerson Press Bio
Dr. Kathy Nickerson is a licensed clinical psychologist and nationally recognized relationship expert who has helped thousands of couples. Over the past 20 years, Kathy has presented marriage and relationship advice at more than 70 conferences, while authoring more than 85 professional articles and books with coverage in CNBC, Reader's Digest, UpJourney, Thrive Global, Psychology Today, The Zoe Report, Bustle, CNN, Forbes, Glamour, LA Times, Newsweek and many more.
Dr. Kathy radiates a sincere, familiar warmth that makes everyone she talks to feel comforted. She captivates readers and listeners with her vibrant and humorous style of communication. Kathy’s approachable and transparent style makes her feel like an "open book," and she is beloved by her clients for intuitively understanding their ideas and feelings.
Dr. Kathy earned her Ph.D. and M.S. in psychology, following her undergraduate work at UC Irvine in Chemistry. Kathy began her career teaching and counseling at-risk youth with the Orange County Health Care Agency. Kathy then led a distinguished program for the United States Department of Justice, where she and her team trained people how to recognize and respond to domestic violence and child abuse. During these years, Kathy discovered the critical importance of healthy relationships and decided to focus her career solely on relationships.
Dr. Kathy has been happily married for 21 years and brings her real-life experiences to all aspects of her work. Kathy has spent thousands of hours studying relationships and researching couples in all stages of their relationships, from those just starting out to those who have been together for many years.
Dr. Kathy has dedicated her career to helping couples strengthen and repair their relationships and is personally invested in championing love for her clients. She reinforces the belief that any relationship, no matter what state it’s in – can dramatically improve with the right tools, information and strategies.
Kathy has successfully helped thousands of couples in her private practice and via thoughtfully crafted online therapy sessions designed for each couple’s unique needs. Her goal is to help as many couples as possible strengthen and heal their relationships.
Dr. Kathy stays on trend with relationship topics offering tips and advice via her blog including helpful Q&A sessions.
Dr. Kathy has covered virtually every relationship struggle and challenge and is a subject matter expert for media and her clients on a diverse list of subjects below, along with sample topics including, but not limited to:
- how to survive the first 24 hours after an affair is discovered, how to start rebuilding trust, 11 steps to recover from an affair
- The do’s and don’ts for effective communication, how to recover from a bad fight
- How to stop being roommates & get your spark back, how to prioritize each other in a social media world
- Social media and relationships
- How to keep your relationship happy and healthy online
- The problems that social media creates for couples
- General relationship struggles
- How to talk about finances, sharing chores, making time for the relationship
- Domestic violence
- How to tell if you’re in a DV relationship, and what to do if you’re in an abusive relationship
- Child abuse
- How abuse affects kids, what counts as abuse, and how to help kids in abusive homes
- Coping with relationship transitions
- Going from engaged to married, how retirement affects your relationship, and how chronic illness impacts your relationship
- Dealing with the death of a spouse
- Steps to take to cope, and what to expect as you heal
- Coping with divorce
- Steps to take to cope, what to expect as you heal, and how to talk to your kids about divorce
- Relationships & Politics
- What to do if you and your partner (or family) have different political views
- Step-Parenting Issues
- How to work with your partner on step-child struggles
- In-Law Issues
- How to handle complicated relationships with your in-law relatives
- Grief and Loss
- How to cope with death and trauma
- LGBT Relationships
- How to keep your relationship happy and healthy
- Personality Disorders
- Narcissistic PD, Borderline PD, how to deal with being married to someone with a PD
- Detecting and Predicting Violence
- How to determine if someone will become violent, how to intervene, and how to get help
- Dating & Online Dating
- How to take care of your emotions while you’re dating, why playing games hurts everyone, and how to write your online profile
- Military & Law Enforcement Relationships
- Special challenges of being in the military and LE on relationships, and how trauma and violence affects your ability to be in a relationship
- Entrepreneurship & Motivation
- How to help your partner understand your entrepreneurial work life, work/life balance, and how to stay motivated