Dr Kathy's Blog

  • If your partner has ever said, "I love you, but I am not IN love with you," then you know how painful it is to hear this. Or if you've felt it... like the two of you are essentially roommates... you know how scary it can be. You worry that the passion is gone, the love is barely there, and you're scared that it won't ever come back. Good news... it's not as bad as it feels... and honestly, it's common.


    View Post
  • Carlos asks: "Can infidelity be forgiven? My wife found some inappropriate messages on my iPad and now she says she'll never get over it. Nothing physical happened, but... obviously, it was not good. Will she ever forgive me? I am worried our marriage will never recover." Dr. K answers : I am really sorry this is happening to you guys, you must be very scared and worried. The good news is that yes, infidelity CAN be forgiven... but it takes time.

    View Post
  • If you want your fights to be productive... and actually be beneficial to your relationship... you have to slow down and really listen to what your partner is saying. Then you have to validate their point of view, their feelings, and their perspective. Only AFTER you have done this should you try to argue for your point of view or explain your feelings. I've put together 3 short videos to show you exactly what to do. View Post
  • Happy couples DO do things a little differently. They are very intentional about creating a wonderful relationship and they are mindful about how they treat each other. If you're wondering if your marriage is going to last, check out these 5 things that couples with long-lasting relationships do differently and incorporate as many as you can into your relationship. View Post
  • Emotional abuse is quite common and can be really hard to detect. I've taken care of countless men and women - smart, beautiful, amazing women - who have found themselves in very abusive relationships. They all worry that they're the damaged one for not seeing this beforehand. That they should have predicted it, they should have seen the signs, that they shouldn't "have been so stupid." View Post
  • Most of us wish we could erase our bad memories. Unfortunately, bad memories are common and a normal part of life... but some memories hurt a lot more than others.This is especially true for someone who's experienced a trauma in their relationship, like an affair. We have developed a memory erasing technique called EMDR and I've modified the technique so you can do it at home. View Post
  • As we enter the third month of the pandemic, you are undoubtedly feeling exhausted and really tired of sheltering-at-home. You might even be thinking about giving up on your relationship... because after being together 24/7 during the quarantine, you're 95% sure you're incompatible. Please hold on... View Post
  • We live in a very stressful and intense world, so if you find yourself struggling to deal with anxiety, you are not alone. Most of us do too! One of the very best things you can do for yourself and those around you is to learn how to manage your anxiety. Let's talk about 10 different ways you can cope with stress and feel so much better... View Post