If it’s been two years—or five, or even twenty-five—since you found out about the affair, and you still find yourself triggered by random moments, memories, or even your partner’s tone of voice… please hear this: you’re not crazy, weak, or holding on too long. You’re likely dealing with a real trauma response—something many people now refer to as Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD). And there’s a reason your healing hasn’t just “clicked” with time alone. Let me explain.

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If you’re trying to understand why someone had an affair—or if you had an affair yourself and want to explore what led you to that decision—these ten questions can provide important insights. The goal isn’t just to look at the surface-level circumstances but to dig deeper into the underlying emotional patterns, past experiences, and coping mechanisms that contributed to the affair.

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When someone who has cheated reaches out to me and asks the heartbreaking question, "Am I a horrible, worthless person?" because of this, my answer is always a resounding no. You are absolutely, positively not a worthless or irredeemable person. Bad behavior doesn’t define who you are as a human being—your worst behavior reflects your struggles, your pain, and your humanity. 

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Have you discovered that your partner is caught up in an emotional affair, and you’re left wondering why they seem so drawn to it—why they can’t seem to let go? Emotional affairs can feel addictive to the person involved, and while that doesn’t excuse their actions, understanding why it happens might help you make sense of what’s going on. Let’s explore why your partner might be so hooked on this connection and why it’s so hard for them to break away.

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When you discover that your partner has had an affair, it shakes the foundation of trust in your relationship. But when their affair partner works in the same place—or even the same industry—it can feel like a fresh wound every day. You may wonder how to navigate this incredibly challenging situation. While there are no easy answers, having a clear game plan with specific rules and guidelines can help rebuild trust and create a sense of safety for both of you.

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Struggling to understand the difference between infidelity and sex addiction? Let's explore how compulsive sexual behavior differs from infidelity and affairs. Sexual addiction involves compulsive behaviors that persist despite serious consequences, often driven by a need to numb emotional pain. Affairs and infidelity is typically situational, while addiction is marked by escalation, loss of control, and repeated patterns.

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Almost everything you've been told about affairs is NOT true. The only way to know what is true is to do research. The more we’re able to learn about affairs, the better equipped we are to understand, navigate, and prevent them. Let’s answer the most common questions about cheating and affairs, using the clinical research data and statistics. View Post

Infidelity is a deeply painful experience that can lead to feelings of inadequacy and leave lasting scars on your self-esteem. When a partner betrays your trust in this way, it’s hard not to doubt your worth, value, and attractiveness. You may find yourself ruminating on your perceived flaws, wondering why you weren’t “enough.” 

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