After betrayal, anger can feel frightening and out of control. One way to work with anger safely is to give it a clear container, instead of letting it spill into your life and relationships. The Victim Impact Letter is a structured exercise that allows betrayed partners to tell the full truth about how infidelity affected them, without minimizing or censoring themselves. This process helps anger organize into clarity, boundaries, and self-respect rather than rage or shame. When anger is expressed safely and intentionally, it becomes a powerful part of healing, instead of something to fear.

Many long-term affairs look like love from the outside, but inside they are often sustained by fantasy, validation, and avoidance rather than true intimacy. When we understand the psychology of limerence and long affairs, the story becomes less about romantic destiny and more about coping mechanisms and wounds. This shift can bring enormous relief to betrayed partners who are trying to make meaning of unimaginable pain.

A betrayed partner wrote to me recently and challenged one of the most accepted practices in sex addiction recovery: therapeutic disclosure. This post examines whether disclosure truly restores safety and agency, or whether secrecy, surprise, and rigid structure can unintentionally deepen trauma. I explore why accountability does not require shock, why healing should be individualized, and how flexibility and choice are essential in betrayal recovery. This post invites clinicians and partners alike to rethink what trauma-informed disclosure should really look like.