Dr Kathy's Blog


  • If you want to quickly get over a fight with your husband or wife, you need to focus on one thing: listening! The problem is, when we're upset, this is really hard to do.... Most of us think that the best way to work through an issue is to poke holes in the other person's argument and tell them how silly they are for thinking the way they do...

    View Post
  • Small confession.... I love spy movies. James Bond, Jason Bourne, Ethan Hunt... I love them all! So I was very excited to go see the new Stephen Spielberg thriller, Bridge of Spies, yesterday. In the film, a successful New York attorney, Jim Donovan, is asked by the CIA to help negotiate the release of two Americans captured during the Cold War. A really great story and beautifully told. 2 lines from the film can help your relationship...

    View Post
  • Henry Winkler brilliantly said, "Assumptions are the termites of relationships." So true! When we make assumptions, we are taking a mental shortcut. We are effectively trying to guess at what the outcome of a situation will be and hoping to save ourselves some time or work by predicting the endin... View Post
  • The Huffington Post recently featured an interview and video with well-known pastor Rob Bell and his wife. In the interview, Rob and Kristen reveal the thing they think is most critical to a healthy marriage: knowing how to fight fair. I couldn't agree more. We tend to think that we should NEVER ... View Post
  • Fighting is exhausting and emotionally draining. Make your most recent fight a learning experience. This action plan guides you through the steps to recover from your fight and learn from it. You’ve had a bad fight. You’re exhausted and upset and know that you don’t want to keep doing this. I un... View Post
  • Feel like your fights always end up out of hand? If so, you’re not alone. Managing conflict is an art and I want you to become a master at it! Fighting is not a bad thing. In fact, I really worry about couples that tell me they never fight. If you never fight, it means there’s nothing you really... View Post
  • If you and your spouse have been locked in combat mode for a while, it's time to make some changes! Few things are more damaging to your mood, health, and relationship than constant fighting. Fighting actually changes our neurochemistry and physiology, which means that the effects of a fight last... View Post