"Can we get over an affair? How do we start to heal?" - Soraya, Australia.
Hi Soraya. That's a very big and important question... thanks for being brave enough to ask it.
First things first, I want you to know that YOU CAN HEAL from this.
Affairs are really common, much more than we know or think. Many people stay with their spouse after an affair and they almost never talk about it. So please know that you're not alone in this situation... and as painful as it is now, it can and will get better.
I have written a lot about this very topic on the blog, so let me point you to a few articles that will help you get started...
If your spouse was the one who had the affair and you'd like to know how to cope and feel better, these two articles will help: My Spouse Cheated, Now What and How To Cope With Any Relationship Problem.
If you were the one who had an affair, here's a page to help you make things better: My Spouse Just Found Out About My Affair. All of these pages have videos and tips and more tools to help you.
And here are a couple PDFs that you should have as you work through the healing process: Trust Rebuilding Roadmap, How To Cope After Your Spouse Has Cheated, and 11 Steps to Start Healing From an Affair.
Please keep me posted on how you're doing. I know it's a rough journey and I am here for you. Big hugs to you.