How planning a sex date can help if you're never in the mood | Dr Kathy Nickerson"How do I fit in a sex life with my husband when I am exhausted all the time from work, kids, and the hustle and bustle of life? I'm almost never in the mood and I'm not sure what to do." Kelly, Maryland

Hi Kelly. I hear you! This is a really common question, so please know that you're not the only one who struggles with this.

My best advice is to schedule a time for the two of you to have sex. I know this isn't a really glamorous answer, but it's worked well for the couples I take care of and I think it'll work well for you.

The truth is that we're all super busy and it's really hard to make intimacy a priority, BUT you must. Many people, and possibly your spouse, only feel loved when they are touched or have sex. Neglecting this need is a bad idea. So find a time, start with once a week, where the two of you can plan a "sex date."

Planning a sex date will do good things for both of you... It will let you relax and know that you only have to be thinking about sex on that 1 day and it will let your husband know that he can count on having sex at least once a week. It should take stress off of both of you.

Make it a nice experience... play some beautiful music, light a candle, take a bath... do whatever you like to make it romantic for your spouse and for you. Spend the day getting yourself in the mood. Think of things that make you feel good and attractive. Think about things that make you feel closer to your spouse.

Give this a try and let me know how it works for you.

And if you'd like more ideas on how to boost your intimacy and closeness, check out this blog post: The Five Love Languages4 Ways To Feel More Connected.

( PS. There are tons of reasons why you might not feel like having sex - all of which are totally normal and understandable. There are also tons of ideas on how to boost your sex drive. If you'd like to learn more about this, check out this article on Why Women Lose Their Sex Drive.)

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