Relationship Advice - Low Sex Drive | Dr Kathy Nickerson

If you're a hard-working, overwhelmed girl looking to quickly and easily bring back her drive... this is for you!

Do you have the sudden urge to do the dishes when your spouse or partner suggests sex? If so, it may be time to take a closer look at why your drive has taken a dive.

Sex, in some form, is essential to feeling connected and loved in a relationship; however, it’s often temporarily shelved due to a variety of personal, physiological or psychological reasons.

A demanding job, raising children, daily exhaustion, health issues, body image concerns, menopause, depression, painful intercourse, and not liking your spouse are very common sex-shelvers.

If you have pain, don’t feel well, or are struggling with significant problems in your relationship, seeing a professional is highly recommended. You deserve the time and attention needed to get back on track both physically and emotionally.


If you feel that your low sex drive results from daily stress and having too much on your plate, you may be able to jump start it at home.


Like the majority of women today, you’re most likely juggling a gazillion things every day, and sex is just another task on your to-do list. It’s certainly understandable if you’d rather pass, but there is a stimulating alternative that may change your mind...

If you can squeeze in 15 minutes here and there, you can revive the hot, pulsing, spontaneous sex you had early on in your relationship with very little effort. And, you may have fun doing it!

(If you're struggling to get yourself in the mood for sex, check out this post for some ideas to help.)


The Celebrated Quickie.


If scheduling sex is not your cup of tea, be prepared to grab your spouse or partner at any given moment for a quickie.

You may struggle to take that first step, but you will most likely end up basking in the perks.

Not only will a quickie relieve the nagging pressure to have an hour-long sexcapade when you’re totally tapped out, but you’ll most likely be turned on as much as your spouse or partner.


Here are 15 fast and effective sex strategies to get things started:


  • Grab your partner and hop in bed, on the counter, on the sofa or floor. Change it up for variety.


  • Surprise him/her with a 2-minute hand or foot massage, and then quickly move on to bigger and better things. The reward may be great.


  • Keep some of your clothes on in remembrance of the times you used to grab quickies on the bathroom counter, in the car, or at a party. (Some of us did this, right?)


  • Invest in cute panties and bras so you can wear them on a daily basis. If you’re wearing baggy sweats when you initiate the quickie, there’ll be a sweet treat underneath.


  • Shake up the routine by initiating oral sex one time, missionary sex the next, and so on.


  • Let your partner (and yourself) indulge in a favorite fantasy or fetish.


  • Use a lubricant if it normally takes you a while to become ready.


  • Whip out a vibrator to get things going fast.


  • Give your partner a soft swat on the bum, pinch or lick their nipples, or stroke their hair. Your partner will most likely reciprocate.


  • Use your imagination and your tongue. (Ooh la la!)


    • Do what has worked in the past to help you both orgasm quickly.


    • Encourage a little masturbation; it's ok to get things going on your own.


    • If he isn’t rising to the occasion, quickly move on to something else.


    • If neither of you are responding in the first few minutes, have a laugh and blame it on poor timing. Things may pick up later.


    • Finish with a quick snuggle, hug or kiss. Top it with a short affirmation; then bask in the good feelings and renewed connection you have.


    What do you think? Comment below and let us know how these tips worked for you!

     This article was written by the amazing Susan Ruble, with a touch of color commentary by Dr. Kathy.SaveSaveSaveSave