Do you love Chip & Joanna Gaines from HGTV's Fixer Upper as much as I do?
They're just such sweet and genuine people, not to mention ridiculously talented!
What I admire most about Chip & Joanna is that they have a really lovely relationship.
And there's a lot we can all learn from them on how to keep our marriages happy and healthy!
Here are 5 things Chip & Joanna can teach you about how to have a truly great marriage...
1. Use humor liberally and point out the upside.
I watched an episode of Fixer Upper this morning and in that episode, Chip was complaining about Jo's hoarding of too much stuff. (They have a big storage warehouse full of amazing things!) He went on and on teasing her about it, then he finally said, "But you know, this girl's hoarding has made us a lot of money on flipping houses."
So what he naturally does with her is something we should all try to do...
Use humor often, even if you're complaining a bit, and if you think you might have crossed a line or hurt your partner, point out the upside of the situation.
2. Let them be quirky.
Have you ever seen Chip break into some goofy dance or make some wacky remark while Joanna just slowly looks away and shakes her head? Oh my gosh, she cracks me up with her reactions!
When she reacts like this, she's showing that even though she doesn't agree with his behavior, she's ok with it... she accepts him as he is and loves him even more because he's quirky. And let's face it, he's darn funny!
So let your partner be quirky! Quirky is fun and entertaining. Celebrate those quirks when you can and if the quirks go a little too far (like when Chip took a dare to eat a live cockroach!), push back with love.
3. Talk kindly to each other, even when you're frustrated.
Have you noticed that almost every time Joanna walks away from Chip, she says thank you or I love you?
She naturally does something that's so good... she makes sure to end each interaction with her spouse on a high note. A really great practice!
She even does this when she's frustrated with Chip. She talks to him with kindness and respect... even when something's gone sideways.She's never overtly mean, critical or hurtful. And most of the time, she ends the conversation with a sarcastic quip, so they end up laughing.
Great, great communication style, Jo!
4. Smile and touch often, convey love and acceptance with your eyes.
Next time you watch an episode of Fixer Upper, notice how often Joanna touches Chip and how often he looks at her adoringly.
They touch and smile all the time... and you should too!
When you smile at your partner and touch them, you convey love, caring, and acceptance. Each smile and touch says, "I love you, you're mine... even if you're a wacky nut... you're MY wacky nut."
And when you feel lovingly towards someone, you look at them lovingly. We are very sensitive to subtle signs and body language. So make an effort to think a loving thought about your partner and then look at them... see if they notice how you're looking at them and smile.
5. Focus on what matters; make your relationship a priority.
Now this is probably the most important thing we can learn from Chip & Joanna.
Late last year, there were a ton of rumors about Chip & Joanna splitting up and getting a divorce. Chip addressed the issue directly on Twitter, saying: "Won't ever happen.. you can take that to the bank! #LoveOfMyLife."
I was so relieved to read that and then hear them talk about the fact that they were going to take a step back from public life because they needed time to rest and put their family first. "Every now and then there are times when we notice we're getting off track and have to regroup," Chip said.
Yes, exactly! We all need to focus on what really matters and make our relationships a priority.
I often say that relationships are like plants. You have to check in on them and take care of them every week. You don't just throw them in a closet, ignore them for 2 years and figure they'll just be fine. You must make it a point to nurture your relationship every week...and if possible, every day with one of the tips from above.
I hope these tips help you create a happier, healthier relationship. And if you're a Fixer Upper fan, please leave a comment below and let us know what you've learned from Chip & Joanna about relationships!
PS. Now you can watch Fixer Upper and the Gaines' new shows on Magnolia Network on Discovery Plus.
Free Resources For You
The Calming Conversation - Downloadable PDF
The Do's & Don'ts for Great Communication - PDF
Rebuilding Your Relationship House - PDF
Dr. K's Blog
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