Dr Kathy's Blog

  • When someone who has cheated reaches out to me and asks the heartbreaking question, "Am I a horrible, worthless person?" because of this, my answer is always a resounding no. You are absolutely, positively not a worthless or irredeemable person. Bad behavior doesn’t define who you are as a human being—your worst behavior reflects your struggles, your pain, and your humanity. 

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  • Have you discovered that your partner is caught up in an emotional affair, and you’re left wondering why they seem so drawn to it—why they can’t seem to let go? Emotional affairs can feel addictive to the person involved, and while that doesn’t excuse their actions, understanding why it happens might help you make sense of what’s going on. Let’s explore why your partner might be so hooked on this connection and why it’s so hard for them to break away.

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  • When you discover that your partner has had an affair, it shakes the foundation of trust in your relationship. But when their affair partner works in the same place—or even the same industry—it can feel like a fresh wound every day. You may wonder how to navigate this incredibly challenging situation. While there are no easy answers, having a clear game plan with specific rules and guidelines can help rebuild trust and create a sense of safety for both of you.

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  • Struggling to understand the difference between infidelity and sex addiction? Let's explore how compulsive sexual behavior differs from infidelity and affairs. Sexual addiction involves compulsive behaviors that persist despite serious consequences, often driven by a need to numb emotional pain. Affairs and infidelity is typically situational, while addiction is marked by escalation, loss of control, and repeated patterns.

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  • Almost everything you've been told about affairs is NOT true. The only way to know what is true is to do research. The more we’re able to learn about affairs, the better equipped we are to understand, navigate, and prevent them. Let’s answer the most common questions about cheating and affairs, using the clinical research data and statistics. View Post
  • Infidelity is a deeply painful experience that can lead to feelings of inadequacy and leave lasting scars on your self-esteem. When a partner betrays your trust in this way, it’s hard not to doubt your worth, value, and attractiveness. You may find yourself ruminating on your perceived flaws, wondering why you weren’t “enough.” 

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  • Infidelity shatters the foundation of a relationship, leaving both partners in a whirlwind of emotions and uncertainty. Whether you're the betrayed partner or the one who strayed, navigating the aftermath of an affair requires courage, compassion, and a willingness to confront toxic beliefs that can hinder the healing process. Let’s explore five toxic beliefs for each of you – the betrayed partner and the one who cheated – and discuss what to do instead.

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  • In the heat of an argument with a loved one, emotions run high, and tensions can escalate quickly. It's during these moments of heightened conflict that our nervous systems can become particularly agitated, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and distressed. However, even in the midst of disagreement and discord, there are powerful tools and coping strategies we can use to calm ourselves. In this blog post, we'll delve into 50 effective ways to soothe your nervous system specifically when you're upset during an argument with a loved one. View Post