Have you noticed that there are some people who are just really, truly happy? That these same people can be happy, even when life is hard or bad things happen? Have you wondered how they do that; how they can be that positive, that optimistic? Fortunately, happiness is not limited to the lucky fe... View Post

If your spouse just found out about your affair, I imagine your world has turned upside down. You're probably feeling very scared and confused. You might also feel incredible anguish and shame, especially when you see the look of pain on your spouse's face. You can tell what a huge impact your af... View Post

If you've just discovered that your spouse had an affair, I am so sorry. You must feel shocked, devastated, betrayed, horrified, blind-sided, and profoundly hurt. I want to reassure you... You CAN get through this. This doesn't mean your marriage or relationship is over. This doesn't mean your p... View Post

Henry Winkler brilliantly said, "Assumptions are the termites of relationships." So true! When we make assumptions, we are taking a mental shortcut. We are effectively trying to guess at what the outcome of a situation will be and hoping to save ourselves some time or work by predicting the endin... View Post

It never fails. Whenever I'm introduced to someone at a dinner party and they learn that I am a marriage counselor, the first question they ask is: "So does marriage counseling actually work?" They usually know someone that didn't have a great experience in couples counseling or they've read an a... View Post

The Huffington Post recently featured an interview and video with well-known pastor Rob Bell and his wife. In the interview, Rob and Kristen reveal the thing they think is most critical to a healthy marriage: knowing how to fight fair. I couldn't agree more. We tend to think that we should NEVER ... View Post

If you find yourself preparing for a 730 evaluation, you’re probably filled with a lot of anxiety and worry. I am sorry, I know this is a very stressful time and a very emotionally exhausting experience. Hang in there. You can do this and you can do it well, you just need to calm yourself down an... View Post

If you are struggling to heal from an affair, look closely at your behavior for these subtle – and not-so-subtle – sabotages that could be hurting you. You’re profoundly hurt. Your world has been turned upside down. Things that were once comfortable and familiar now feel painful and unsafe. I un... View Post